Sadly, we now understand that the illness we defined then
was Golf Deficit Disorder Lite. Our
faithful readers may have noticed that we have not been either golfing or
blogging for an extended time frame. (We
do apologize for any inconvenience this has caused.)
From first-hand experience, we now understand what happens
in a truly serious case of Golf Deficit Disorder.
In order to help others avoid long-term cases of this dread
disease, let us hereby report the symptoms so that the Afflicted might seek
more immediate relief than we did in our recent bout.
Symptoms include (but may not be limited to):
- Ear wax
- Migraine headaches
- Insomnia
- Binge-viewing of Caddyshack and Tin Cup
- An extreme craving for iced coffee
- Anxiety attacks upon passing by large expanses of neatly trimmed green grass
- Inability to watch Golf Channel without weeping
- Failure to keep up with golf blogging, thereby depriving the world of the important grassroots golf news
NB: If you have these
symptoms but your fever spikes to over 102, seek immediate medical
attention. You have been eating too much
grass or you may have Mad Cow Disease.
This should be evaluated by a medical professional.
The CURE (and the only CURE)—
- Dust off your clubs and get out there on the golf course.
We are happy to report, again from first-hand experience,
that this works pretty well.
We’re back out there.
FORE!
