Golf Deficit Disorder II

We reported back in November 2010 on what we thought was Golf Deficit Disorder.  

Sadly, we now understand that the illness we defined then was Golf Deficit Disorder Lite.   Our faithful readers may have noticed that we have not been either golfing or blogging for an extended time frame.  (We do apologize for any inconvenience this has caused.)  

From first-hand experience, we now understand what happens in a truly serious case of Golf Deficit Disorder.

In order to help others avoid long-term cases of this dread disease, let us hereby report the symptoms so that the Afflicted might seek more immediate relief than we did in our recent bout.

Symptoms include (but may not be limited to):

• Ear wax
• Migraine headaches
• Insomnia
• Binge-viewing of Caddyshack and Tin Cup
• An extreme craving for iced coffee
• Anxiety attacks upon passing by large expanses of neatly trimmed green grass
• Inability to watch Golf Channel without weeping
• Failure to keep up with golf blogging, thereby depriving the world of the important grassroots golf news

NB:  If you have these symptoms but your fever spikes to over 102, seek immediate medical attention.  You have been eating too much grass or you may have Mad Cow Disease.  This should be evaluated by a medical professional.

The CURE (and the only CURE)—

• Dust off your clubs and get out there on the golf course.

We are happy to report, again from first-hand experience, that this works pretty well.

We’re back out there.

FORE!  



Golf Haiku

Homage to National Poetry month  and the return of more suitable golfing weather.

I.

April grass grows green.

Springtime skies bring wind and dust.

I approach the tee.  Clouds laugh.

II.

Stand at the tee box.

Aim for the stars and the sky.

Can not see the flag.

III.

Oh little white ball

Nested in grass so deep green.

Where will you fly next?

IV.

Soar into the sky—

Bump along the rocky trail—

Please sink this last putt.

No Film at 11



The highlight of our WNMLF practice round at Civitan on Friday night was a helicopter circling the golf course and landing across the street at the Farmington High School football field.



No nose for news

 The Channel 13 News Helicopter from Albuquerque, for whatever reason, was doing some landing practice during the Piedra Vista HS-Santa Fe HS football game season opener.

We blame one particularly bad tee shot on this unexpected distraction during play.

Later, golfers Joan and Vicki did their best to wave at the helicopter in a brazen attempt to get themselves and their golf clubs on the evening news, but to no avail.

Violating our bed time, we stayed up long enough to watch Channel 13 News from Albuquerque. We were skunked. No footage of league practice that night.

This seems like an error in judgment on the part of the Channel 13 sports editors and a missed opportunity.

And WNMLF golfers lost a potential 30 seconds of fame (out of the 15 minutes that Andy Warhol promised us).

Too bad. Maybe the next helicopter pass will produce better results.



Pagosa Springs Open

Monday, August 1, 2011. Golfers Joan, Katie, and Vicki journeyed to the Pagosa Springs Golf Club.





Welcome to the club

 

Important notes from tournament play—



• If you hook your ball on a big swing at the driving range and hit the window on someone’s house, you’re on your own. We hope you have golf insurance.

• Neither do you want to park your car on the perimeter of the driving range.

• When a golf course has three hole #1’s, it is very important to listen to directions from the nice man who hands out the keys to the golf carts.

• If you find yourself bumping down a washboard gravel road headed toward someone’s driveway, odds are good that you have missed the turn to hole #2.

• If you spend too much time admiring the scenery and the mountain views during your round, you will annoy the golfers who are behind you and in a hurry to make it to a lunch appointment. This is a good time to let other golfers play through. This also has the advantage of giving you more time to admire the scenery.

Evidence that we actually play golf

• Chainsaw bear sculptures are a hot item in Pagosa Springs. Our favorite was the bear in the chef’s hat at hole #8 who was holding a blank piece of wood that probably used to hold a menu.

• The new restaurant in the clubhouse has excellent sandwiches and sweet potato fries. All this and a wonderful view of the course and the mountains from the deck.

• We highly recommend the coffee house on the river in downtown Pagosa Springs.



Nourishment

 We apologize for the delay in filing this report and hope it has not caused any inconvenience for our readers.