No Film at 11



The highlight of our WNMLF practice round at Civitan on Friday night was a helicopter circling the golf course and landing across the street at the Farmington High School football field.



No nose for news

 The Channel 13 News Helicopter from Albuquerque, for whatever reason, was doing some landing practice during the Piedra Vista HS-Santa Fe HS football game season opener.

We blame one particularly bad tee shot on this unexpected distraction during play.

Later, golfers Joan and Vicki did their best to wave at the helicopter in a brazen attempt to get themselves and their golf clubs on the evening news, but to no avail.

Violating our bed time, we stayed up long enough to watch Channel 13 News from Albuquerque. We were skunked. No footage of league practice that night.

This seems like an error in judgment on the part of the Channel 13 sports editors and a missed opportunity.

And WNMLF golfers lost a potential 30 seconds of fame (out of the 15 minutes that Andy Warhol promised us).

Too bad. Maybe the next helicopter pass will produce better results.



Pagosa Springs Open

Monday, August 1, 2011. Golfers Joan, Katie, and Vicki journeyed to the Pagosa Springs Golf Club.





Welcome to the club

 

Important notes from tournament play—



• If you hook your ball on a big swing at the driving range and hit the window on someone’s house, you’re on your own. We hope you have golf insurance.

• Neither do you want to park your car on the perimeter of the driving range.

• When a golf course has three hole #1’s, it is very important to listen to directions from the nice man who hands out the keys to the golf carts.

• If you find yourself bumping down a washboard gravel road headed toward someone’s driveway, odds are good that you have missed the turn to hole #2.

• If you spend too much time admiring the scenery and the mountain views during your round, you will annoy the golfers who are behind you and in a hurry to make it to a lunch appointment. This is a good time to let other golfers play through. This also has the advantage of giving you more time to admire the scenery.

Evidence that we actually play golf

• Chainsaw bear sculptures are a hot item in Pagosa Springs. Our favorite was the bear in the chef’s hat at hole #8 who was holding a blank piece of wood that probably used to hold a menu.

• The new restaurant in the clubhouse has excellent sandwiches and sweet potato fries. All this and a wonderful view of the course and the mountains from the deck.

• We highly recommend the coffee house on the river in downtown Pagosa Springs.



Nourishment

 We apologize for the delay in filing this report and hope it has not caused any inconvenience for our readers.

Golf and Trees



WNMLF golfers Katie, Joan, and Vicki found their way back to the Hidden Valley Golf Course in Aztec last week for another round of the Roaming WNMLF Tournament.

This course has excellent trees.

We found ourselves recommending Hidden Valley earlier that week to fellow golfers at Civitan who hit the tree on hole #1 while we waited our turn to tee off.

Our own favorite trees at Civitan are those that border holes #3 and #4, at the base of the Dreaded Hill.

But the Civitan trees pale in comparison to those at Hidden Valley. The trees there are all over the place, often separating us from our intended targets on the greens.

We report that we must be making progress. After a pleasant lunch on the patio of the clubhouse (recommended—the chicken quesadilla) with a view of the green on #9, we note that maybe we’re not as bad as we think we are at this golf thing.

And on the way out, the pro in the shop told us that no one had complained about us.

Baseball and Golf



Golfer at Spring Training

They are completely connected.


• You are compelled to try to hit a relatively small ball with a long stick.

• If you don’t have your head game on, you can’t accomplish anything.

• Fair weather and green grass make for the best fields of play.

• It’s all about math and counting things.

• The actual rules of each are a bit mystifying.

• No day that includes baseball or golf is a bad day.

• Anything can happen out there, even miracles.

• Hope springs eternal.

Smash Factor

We heard the golf pro out on the driving range today giving a lesson to a man who appeared to be intent on hitting the ball very HARD.


We heard a bit about Newtonian physics, the “one guy and fourteen clubs” theory, and the smash factor.

Apparently, the smash factor is all about physics, ratios, compression, club speed, and whether or not you actually manage to hit the ball.

We say HUZZAH and smash away. May that little ball fly far into the sky and in the right direction.

Golf helmet, anyone?

The Winter of Our Discontent

Cheer from our friend Sioux in Payson

Who knew that a case of bronchitis accompanied by lots of coughing and general yuck could last for SO long?


Who knew that the wind would NOT stop blowing in April?




Who knew that it is possible to fail Golf II, even when registered for an audit?

Spring will come. We’re sure of it.

Brighter and calmer and warmer days are ahead. For now, we’ll hang on to that.

Social Promotion



We are pleased to report that we are now enrolled in Golf II. Our faithful readers will note that it has taken us a long time to get this far.


Today was our first day on the putting green and the driving range wearing the banner of Golf II.

We ask our readers to cooperate with us and not report us to the governor of our fair state. She seems quite determined to wipe out social promotion in our public schools—and probably our golf courses.

With any luck, we will get away with this and maybe even improve our game.

Golf II Reject

Golfer & friend contemplate rejection

We tried to register for Golf II for this spring semester.  We figured that after a few rounds of Golf I (we’ve lost count), we thought that perhaps we should move on into Golf II.


The WebAdvisor software that we use to register for this college class must have been out on the course or the driving range watching us. “No prerequisite. You are blocked from registering for this course.”

The truth is that we have never passed Golf I, if you need to get legalistic about it.   That would involve registering for credit and that is something we have never been willing to do. The gentility of the “audit” has always seemed just right for someone golfing at our level.

So here we are, stuck in Golf Student Purgatory. What next? Stay tuned for more details as this drama unfolds before us.

Insult to Injury

It’s not enough that our local golf courses are still snow-covered and closed. Now yet another reason to keep us confined—our local M.D. has diagnosed us with “bronchitis.”


Our personal opinion is that this is probably an outbreak of Golf Deficit Disorder, manifested in an attack on our bronchial tubes.

In any case, we’re coughing a lot and dreaming of warmer weather and greener fairways as we nap away our days.

There is no doubt that a turn around our favorite 9 holes would make us feel much better, but that apparently is not an option at this time.

Sigh.

Armchair Golf

When the snow won’t melt, the thermometer won’t rise, and we find our bronchial tubes attacked by some sneaky germs, we have to find new and creative ways to stay in touch with our beloved game. We have two proposals:


1. Bookshelf golf. A copy of Extraordinary Golf sits next to our favorite armchair. This book came to us via a dear non-golfer friend who got it from her life coach. It’s all about intention. See—haven’t we been telling you all along that golf is more about life than it is about hitting things?

2.       The  Golf Channel.  For people who have way too many channels and too much time on their hands.    We might know some of these people, but we will refrain from true confession here.



We welcome more suggestions from our faithful readers. What do YOU do when you just can’t put your clubs in the car and get out there on the fairways?

There may be prizes for truly inspired ideas, so please submit.

Another Good Thing About Golf

In spite of our policy to avoid political commentary, we will pause briefly to say this—please STOP the hate language.


This may or may not have been responsible for the tragedy in Tucson this past weekend. That is beside the point.

We seem to have forgotten that the right to disagree is what this country is supposed to be about. It is the foundation of a democratic society. But we need to disagree with respect for the other person’s right to his or her own opinion that is based on reason and good will.

In our version of golf, the only opponent is that stupid little ball that often refuses to cooperate.

In our version of golf, we learn quickly that getting mad and spewing hatred only serves to mess up our own game.

That seems like an important lesson.

Followed by January Arctic Blast

Frozen clubs near Pinon Hills GC

Our comeuppance for enjoying golf in the sunshine in early December? A fierce Arctic blast that keeps the golf courses covered with snow and the heat tape on the bathroom pipes of our northern-exposed bathroom sink.


Sigh.