December Sunshine

On Sunday afternoon the sun was shining and the thermometer in Farmington made it past 60 degrees Fahrenheit.


The only sensible thing to do was to get out there on the golf course and play. So we did.

It was better than any sinus headache medicine that we had tried in the past few weeks.

December in New Mexico + sunshine = golf.

It is days like this one that make us LOVE our geographical coordinates.

Ice Cube Golf

…and then the cold front blew through the Four Corners last week and our golfing possibilities took a turn for the frigid.


When a cold wind is blowing hard, the grass is crunchy, and you’re wearing so many layers that it’s hard to swing, there is a very funny THUNK sound that happens when your club connects with the golf ball. Even worse, the path that the ball takes after this THUNK is unpredictable.

This weekend was less than balmy and so the normally intrepid WNMLF golfers had a hard time in the November wind chill.

We gave it a go for three holes (using our friend Alan’s check-mark system of scoring) and then abandoned the course for a cup of hot stuff at our favorite Durango Joe’s coffee shop.

These are the times that try golfers’ souls.

A nice hot Harvest Spice Latte made us feel better.

Golf Deficit Disorder

We would like to report the observation of an insidious condition that has struck in the heart of our local golfing community—Golf Deficit Disorder (GDD).

Symptoms appear to be sinus headaches, seasonal affective disorder (from lack of time outdoors in the sunlight), impatience with all others in our general vicinity, and ear wax.

The only treatment we have found that may alleviate this condition is putting the golf bag in the trunk of the car and getting out there on the golf course.

We can report happily that a recent string of days of above-average temperatures in our Four Corners has allowed us a few rounds at Civitan GC, and some of the symptoms of our GDD are abating.

Ball Placement

We were muttering at the driving range the other day when Coach K happened to be behind us.


“How come,” we were thinking aloud, “every club sends the ball the same distance?”

“Ball placement,” he said, as he walked by on his way to pay attention to the next student in line at the driving range.

Hmmm. Ball placement. So simple and so elegant.

This just might be the answer to many of our problems.

Big misses on the putting green? Ball placement.

Lousy tee shots? Ball placement.

Pot holes, greenhouse gases, the hole in the ozone layer? Ball placement.

Why are we here and why can’t we all just get along? Ball placement.

Would someone please notify the proper authorities? This could be the answer humankind has been seeking since the dawn of time.

Ball placement.

200 Things

Coach K told us today that 200 things have to happen in just the right way to make a good golf swing.  Hands, feet, body, brain in sync.

Yikes.

No wonder we’re still in Golf I.

A Game for Optimists

Some of our faithful readers may snicker at the fact that we are now attempting Golf I for the sixth time (or maybe fifth or maybe seventh—we’ve lost count.)


We would like to point out that this unfailing faith of ours that our game might get better could be viewed in a different light.

It seems to us an act of optimism to keep getting out there with a bag of metal clubs and expect to improve in hitting a tiny ball into a small hole hundreds of yards away.

Miracles happen. The Cubs will rise again some year. Golf games can improve. We just keep at it.

Another Idea for a More Satisfying Score

It has come to our attention that if you quit playing once you have reached an acceptable score, you will have far fewer strokes to record on your score card.


For example, if one thinks that 35 is a good score for 9 holes, one can keep track of the cumulative score and know that if one has reached 35 strokes by hole #7, it’s a great time to leave the course and head for the iced coffee that comes at hole #10.

Always seeking ways to improve that score, we remain your faithful WNMLF blogging team.

Lightning Round

WNMLF golfers Katie and Vicki began league practice at Civitan Golf Course this morning with a slight breeze and some dark clouds forming on the western horizon.


By the time they got to hole #3, Vicki saw a lightning bolt off in the distance and recommended abandonment of play.

Gilbert, one of our favorite groundskeepers, said, “You are holding lightning rods in your hands.”

A golf round when lightning is present?

Not recommended.

Breaking News--Sensation of the Day at Hidden Valley

Vicki sank a putt from about 40 feet out on #15 during WNMLF league play at Hidden Valley Golf Course in Aztec.


This putt was witnessed by WNMLF colleagues Joan and Katie.

In an exclusive for the WNMLF blog, the golfer said, “The ball was out in the rough next to the fringe. I knew I was supposed to pitch, but I was too lazy to walk back to the cart and get my pitching wedge. So I putted.”

See????

Miracles DO happen.

More Creative Uses of the Golf Score Card

Alan, our Las Vegas connection, suggested to us the check-mark system for scoring when we played with him a couple of weeks ago at the Prairie Dog Open. We must admit that this system is appealing to us on several levels. We’re not ignoring the score card, but we’re not exactly cooperating, either. This seems quite compatible with WNMLF guidelines.


Another option that has come to our attention is the POEM option. In homage to Garrison Keillor’s Professional Organization of English Majors (POEM), this system allows the mathematically-challenged golfer to add 4 and 5 and come up with 6. You get the idea.

Several months ago, another scoring system we call “Crazy Eights” occurred to us, but we have not yet worked out the details. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you. Stay tuned. We’re certain there is more to come on this subject.

Prairie Dog Open 2010

The WNMLF event previously known as the Cedar City Open has been renamed to honor the small creatures who participate in such a big way in tournament play.


On Wednesday, July 7th, WNMLF golfers Vicki and Don were joined by Alan, a member of our Las Vegas connection, at Cedar Ridge Golf Course in Cedar City, Utah.

The skies were blue, the bluffs were red, the temperatures were fairly moderate as we made our way around the first 9 holes at Cedar Ridge.

As before, the local prairie dog population appeared at every hole, chattering away and probably stealing golf balls.

Alan hit a manly-golf shot over a large hill that landed on the green on hole #7. Other than that, not much of particular note this year as no balls were ricocheted off the sandstone cliffs or local cottonwoods. Sorry—we’ll try harder next time.

Golf groupie Kathy reported a lively conversation in the grill area about weather and who cooked the best hamburgers in Cedar City.

Important note—no small or large animals were harmed in the execution of tournament play despite appearances. Chalk that up to our Special Effects department.

Running Through Sprinklers

We have failed to mention so far that another one of our favorite things about golf is running through the sprinklers.


As an adult, it’s hard to run through the watery spray with abandon in just about any other location.

On the golf course, we can grab our clubs and run under the water without anyone raising an eyebrow or calling the cops.

This is something that they usually forget to tell you in golf class.

Take our advice and head for your favorite golf course when the sprinklers are on. You won’t regret it.

WNMLF Golf Banquet

Earlier this month as we completed our latest round of Golf I (5th or 6th attempt, depending on how you count), we decided we should celebrate with a WNMLF Golf League Banquet.

So we did.

Cheers!   May your summer rounds be filled with blue skies, moderate temperatures, straight tee shots, and friendly greens.
 
 

Approximate Golf

So here are the options as we see them—you can go crazy trying to count strokes, keep track of rules, and write everything down correctly on the little card with the mysterious numbers on it. In our observation, this can lead to frustration, cursing, and giving up on the game altogether.


OR you can have fun, try to hit the ball toward the hole, and when you get there turn in the approximate number of strokes it took you to complete this task. With this method, no clubs, greens, or small animals get hurt. And—not an insignificant point—those of us who choose this second option are still playing.

We understand that we won’t make an LPGA handicap with the second method, but we do have a good time on the golf course.

Certainly that must count for something.

We Fall Behind on Reporting Important Developments

A Blessed Event at Civitan Lake a few weeks ago—baby geese arrived to our family of Golf Course Geese.


During this season, there are Goose Crossing Days on Hole # 5 next to the lake when Civitan Golfer Ethics dictate that we wait to tee off until the family has completed their waddle across the fairway.

We are so tardy in reporting this news, that already these babies have grown to look quite gawky and adolescent.


WNMLF Golfer Joan has some excellent footage of the bigger goose-lets (goslings? geese-itos?) crossing the abovementioned fairway during another delay-of-play round.

Film at eleven (or ask Joan if you can see it).

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Golf Course

We never did see Tiger out there, but with the help of Google maps, we managed to find the Hidden Valley Golf Course that claims to be in Aztec, New Mexico.


WNMLF league players Katie, Joan, and Vicki had a lovely morning exploring the first 9 holes of this course. The weather was beautiful, the mountains in the distance were still snowcapped, and by way of the miracle of Scramble, we had a pretty good round.

We had a little trouble finding hole #2, but were able to locate it before accidentally teeing off at hole #3.

Later, as we were headed toward the clubhouse, focused on lunch, we sailed right by the tee box on hole #9. Vicki was ready to put down the ball and start whacking away in the middle of the fairway on the long par 5 hole, but a sense of Golf Propriety in the persons of Joan and Katie shamed her into turning the cart around and looking again for the tee box. We discovered that they had hidden it on the other side of the cart path.

After a dip in the sand trap on #9 (aka a WNMLF beach party), we finished the hole, gave back the golf carts, and beelined for the snack bar.

We can recommend the grilled cheese on wheat, the patty melt, and the view from the patio.

It was an excellent day on the hidden links, even without a Tiger-sighting.

Tidbits from Golf History

Just in case it shows up on our final exam in Golf I, we are boning up on our golf history.   We  feel compelled to share some of the more interesting facts from our notes.

In 1567, Mary, Queen of Scots, was accused of playing golf only a few days after the death of her husband, Lord Darnley.

We hope she found something more comfortable than this to wear out on the course.

We propose some golf hand signals

As dedicated baseball fans, we continue to be impressed by the mysterious hand signals that seem to make sense to managers, players, and umpires on the field. These signals elegantly communicate a message in a few ballet-like movements.

So far, we haven’t seen any hand signals for golf, so maybe we should borrow some and add another element of style to our beloved game.

To address this apparent oversight in the game, we propose the following two signals as a starting place:

This means, “The chicken salad in the snack bar is unusually good today, so pick up the pace of play before those chow hounds who teed-off just before us eat it all.”
 

This one means: “That grumpy old guy in the funny-looking golf pants is ticked off so head for the clubhouse FAST.”
 
We look forward to reader suggestions for more golf hand signals.

Ahh-choo

All the snow we had this winter and spring is not done with us yet.


As residents of a high desert plateau, we ought to be welcoming all this moisture.

We ought to.

But now it comes to our attention in physical ways that the abundance of moisture has made the trees, bushes, flowers, and weeds SO happy that they are producing abundant amounts of pollen.


As dedicated golfers, we continue undeterred out into the pollen-filled air, armed with lots of Kleenex and any anti-allergy remedies we can muster.

Yesterday Katie and Vicki completed 5 holes at Riverview GC as portion of the WNMLF league’s current round in Golf I.

Let’s not talk about actual strokes. The sun was shining and it was beautiful out there.

We emerged relatively unscathed and drove home happy through the pollen-filled air.

Blades of Grass

Did you know that there are over 250 varieties of grass in North America? We learned this yesterday at the third meeting of our new Golf I class.

Sunshine! Golf returns at last. We are happy.

Last week, we started Golf I for the fifth (or sixth) time. Once again, we find ourselves breaking in a new teacher. (One might question whether or not WNMLF golf leaguers are emptying out the pool of available golf teachers in San Juan County, but we prefer not to go there.)

It turns out that all of these blades of grass are out there, just waiting to do something strange to your golf ball. It all depends on the variety of grass, the angle of the sun, the presence or absence of wind, length of time since mowing or watering, and even how you manage to connect with the ball.

Who knew?

Symptoms of Golf Withdrawal

From our golfer friend Vernon, who shares what we have been experiencing this winter with the plethora of 4 Corners snowstorms:

• Glaring hard at the snow until it melts.
• Glancing down at your shoes & making sure you have good golf cleats . . . while at work.
• Pulling your golf clubs out of the bag while inside the house & taking a few practice swings. (That’s how things get broken.)
•  Putting on your golf gloves on instead of your driving gloves.
• Shoveling off the tee-box you installed in your front yard last fall-- instead of shoveling the snow in the driveway.

Sunshine on My Golf Clubs

We celebrated the Presidents’ Day holiday by hitting a bucket of balls out on the driving range.


Ok, so there were a few clouds, we had to hit off the mats, and the grass was a little crunchy.

But we were out there hitting golf balls again.

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
We chortled in our joy.

Oh, Phil...

...say it ain't so.

He saw his shadow today.

Sigh.

Grouchy

Midwinter and the greens and fairways are still snow-covered. We find that we are feeling a bit grouchy lately.

Could it be the lack of golf? It has been over a month since we played a round at our frosty but pre-snowpacked Civitan Golf Club.


Garrison Keillor reported yesterday on Prairie Home Companion that the residents of Lake Woebegone have been grouchy this week—starting with the waitress at the Chatterbox Café who is threatening patrons with alarming ways of warming up their coffee cups.

They, too, have been covered with snow and gray days for quite some time now.

We all await the news from Punxsutawney Phil.

Come on, Phil, send us some springtime. We need to get out there and play some GOLF.

Western Wallop

The Weather Channel calls the pattern that we currently in the “Western Wallop.”

To us, it looks like a lot of SNOW.

It might be global warming, an El Nino year, the advent of another Ice Age, or the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius.

It might be just a lot of snow.

What we do know is that our ability to play golf is severely limited right now. When our golf courses are sitting under a few feet of snow, we just can’t get out there, mostly because the courses are closed.

Our golf clubs sit in the garage, patiently waiting for the fairways and greens to reappear. We sit by the fire and dream of warmer days and greener golf courses.

The People's Golf

It has come to our attention that many consider golf to be the sport of wealthy men. Our faithful readers will note that WNMLF golfers do not fit that demographic.

This past weekend, we attended an institute in Scottsdale in a beautiful hotel that bordered an upscale golf course. The subject of the institute was decidedly not golf, and so the only opportunity we had to experience the course was to wander out to the patio with ice tea in hand during breaks and gaze longingly at the par 3 hole next to the hotel grounds.

We were surprised to find ourselves not doing too much longing.

Maybe it was the online investigation that revealed greens fees of $276 for eighteen holes.

Maybe it was the golf shop at the Phoenix airport that charged $9.99 for one golf ball.

Maybe it was the tee shots we observed that didn’t look too much better than tee shots at our beloved Civitan golf course (greens fees $8 for eighteen holes).

What we love about golf is not located in our investment portfolios or the price tags on our equipment.

For us, golf is about the friendly chat, the occasional miracle shot that seems to happen against all odds, the iced coffee at our own 10th hole. Golf is about companionship, a walk in beautiful place, surprise, and mystery.

Falling Iguanas

We are disturbed to learn that it has been so cold in south Florida that iguanas are falling from the trees.


We have heard two explanations for this—one, that their bodies go into hibernation mode at low temperatures and they are out for the count until the temperature rises; or two, they lose their lizard muscle control at the low temperatures and they simply can’t hang on to the tree limbs.

You can decide for yourself as it is our editorial policy not to engage in any controversial scientific theory.

We can only imagine how distressing it must be to stroll down a fairway or wander into the trees to retrieve an errant golf ball and be surprised by one of these dropping lizards.

It must be even more distressing for the iguanas.

And so we send our sympathies to golfers and iguanas on the golf courses of Florida with warm wishes for better days ahead.